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When an ex-classmate pinged Rohini, 25, for a catch-up chat, she never thought he'd quiz her about a friend of hers he didn't know and had never seen, except on Facebook.
"I haven't seen him in two years, and chat with him very rarely. It was a hi-hello type of conversation, but he'd seen pictures from my last birthday party and began asking me about who that 'hot chick wearing pink' was," she said.
Rohini isn't the only woman to report such 'random' conversations with male friends.
Girls, if you put up pictures with your girlfriends after a fun night out/lunch - whatever -on Facebook, it's a guarantee your guy friends will have checked them out! In fact, research by one Harvard Business School (HBS) professor suggests that women get two-thirds of all pageviews on FB!
Professor Mikolaj Piskorski told HBS Working Knowledge, the university's research forum, that looking at pictures online was "a very delicate way for me to pry into your life without really prying."
He added that there were a greater number of men looking at women they don't know, followed by men looking at women they did know.
Rohini, who's a media executive, also added that "this sleazy guy from work has seen/ read everything I've posted on Facebook and then spoken to me about it. If I post a status message saying I did this and that, in office he would say, 'Oh you went here and you did that' and I didn't like that. Once he asked me, 'You play Farmville all day or what?'"
Talking from experience
Rohini, who's a media executive, also added that "this sleazy guy from work has seen/ read everything I've posted on Facebook and then spoken to me about it. If I post a status message saying I did this and that, in office he would say, 'Oh you went here and you did that' and I didn't like that. Once he asked me, 'You play Farmville all day or what?'"
Though she didn't tell him off immediately, after a conversation with a friend on Facebook security, Rohini invested time in upgrading her profile privacy settings so that her colleague couldn't see what she was up to. "I've added a few others to the list too," she added.
Nisha S reported a similar experience, which almost bordered on stalking. She said that she added the guy because he was a colleague. "It started rather simply, he would actually come and tell me about my own Facebook statuses. He'd know about exchanges between my friends and me and then it progressed to him commenting on my photographs… in person! Once a couple of my friends and I decided to meet at a restaurant in Bandra (Mumbai) and magically, he was there too! This happened several times."
She added that the colleague seemed to know details he couldn't know unless he was going through what was written on her Wall daily. "Needless to say, I blocked him," Nisha said.
Rebecca M's Facebook admirer too got the 'block' treatment. When she added the friend of a friend, the 29-year-old didn't know he'd pursue her with so much determination. "Since he was on Facebook, he got added to my chat list. From there he wriggled his way onto my GoogleTalk list. And he kept asking to meet me."
Finally, fed up with his pestering, she banished him to cyber-oblivion.
When Divya K, 26, a freelance writer, logged onto her Facebook account, she was shocked to find a friend request from a reader. "I'm a features writer and am regularly commissioned to write relationship- based stories by a magazine. Obviously this fellow read one of my sex-related story and looked me up. And the message he left me was very disgusting and wholly inappropriate, " she said.
"It shook me up! Of course I didn't add him. Sleazebags like him should be banned from social networking sites for crossing the line!" Divya added.
Girls like Divya can take a page out of Rohini's book and spend some time upgrading the security of their profiles on social networking sites. Here are some tips to beef up security on your Facebook account:
Dealing with inappropriate behaviour
Girls like Divya can take a page out of Rohini's book and spend some time upgrading the security of their profiles on social networking sites. Here are some tips to beef up security on your Facebook account:
- Place not-so-well- known friends on the 'Limited Profile' list. This helps you limit the access certain people have while scanning your profile online.
- You have a Block List - use it. Exile all stalker-types to this area - all your ties (on Facebook, at least) with them will be broken permanently.
- Rework settings that allow people to view your wall posts, tagged pictures and videos, About Me section, birth date and status updates. Facebook allows you to allow 'Friends of friends' 'Only Friends' 'Only Me' or specific people to see your posts/updates. In fact, you can even single out people to make sure they don't see what you're up to.
- Control people who can add you as a friend (Eveyone or Friends of friends!) as well as those who can send you messages.